Tuesday 21 August 2012

Addict

I have been spending a lot of time with Good Kisser lately; our schedules have led to the opportunity for some long afternoons in bed, and we have taken advantage of that time with no small degree of enthusiasm. He continues to be Good At Kissing, of course, but the sex... which honestly surprised me at first with how satisfying it was, is starting to develop into something that just turns me, during the time we are together, into a hot mess of lust. And when we are not together in bed, I just bask in the benefits that one can get out of simply having lots of orgasms, (never mind the pleasure of having someone in your life that thinks you are just the thing, sexually, and tells you so often). Better skin, better mood - no better sleep yet, but you can't have everything- and  better energy levels. At the moment, I am the cat walking with her tail high in the air.

However, I do feel like being with him has taken some getting used to. I did meet him on a vanilla site, and he never had this claim to being a Dominant but why should he label himself, after all. Why should any of us?  He is dominant in bed - I don't have a sense of being in control at all, physically or otherwise, but I think it is different, to the partners I have had in the past. What is different for me is that he gets his pleasure from my pleasure; So while he clearly enjoys spanking me, I am spanked because I love to be spanked, he pins me down because it turns me on to have my limbs restrained, and whereas in the past I might have spent time giving my partner loving and enthusiastic oral sex, it seems like my task is to lay there with my hips pinned to the bed until his tongue on my pussy, oversensitised already from two or three orgasms in quick succession, elicits yet another climax. Which I'm sure you would agree, is hardly a terrible predicament to be in.

I think finally, the difference is in the freedom. If I want an orgasm, I will have one without asking- usually. If I want to change position in order to better enjoy what we are doing, I mostly can.If something is too much, I don't feel the need to get through it because we have this dynamic that means I should push myself for his pleasure, we just stop it. It occurs to me that some readers might consider the preceding statements to be a bit... strange. In most dynamics what I have described here is probably the norm. But I suppose when you  practise (I'm not sure this is the word I am looking for) BDSM, other things become normal. This is neither good nor bad necessarily, just different. Anyway, the point is  I think we both know that ultimately, he is in charge of what happens in  bed - which is necessary, but right now seems like my job is lying back and having a great time. So I'm trying to become really proficient at that for his benefit. Tough life. All of this for a woman who, a few short months ago couldn't really remember what sexual pleasure felt like. My biggest problem now? Getting out of his bed.

13 comments:

  1. What your describing is what is more to my liking. I'm not into the BDSM scene (yet, one never knows what cums next for me)but I do like to be held down (with hands), choked, etc. But if I don't like something, I want to be able to be verbal and change what we are doing. I also want to cum when I want to cum.

    I could see me taking the roll of a Domme with a woman. I really love the thought of playing a very dominate role with a woman.

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    1. Freaky,

      I too like the idea of you taking the DOmme role ;)

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  2. When Mrs. AP first met me and I we realized that I was the dominant type in bed, just more in the way you describe here, we went looking for an appropriate term. Sensual Dom seems to fit. I don't bark orders, I don't make hard demands, and I don't just toss her around like a ragdoll... often. But I leave her no mistake of when I'm in control and render her powerless to do anything but lie back and enjoy everything I'm doing to her over and over again. She's become excellent at it, and I'm sure you are/will as well.

    Stay SINful
    Mr. AP

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    1. Well, there's certainly a place for being treated like a ragdoll with me, but it;s so nice to hear that you and Mrs. AP are so compatible

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  3. Sounds like an awesome problem to have!

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  4. That's pretty much our style too, which suits me perfectly. I'm new to TTWD, though, so I might want to be pushed past my comfort level at some point, but for now, I'm liking it the way it is...

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    1. Mrs Soft Bottom :It s totally awesome.

      Renee: I think that's great. I think you'll both know when you're ready

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  5. You hit the nail on the head - the control is what makes him Dominant, not what he does with it, and having control is how he gets his pleasure and gives you yours. Lucky girl.

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  6. Being happy and sexually satisfied is more important then wearing a title. Why must we were sexuality titles ? Enjoy life, and forget what flavor you what to call it..

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    1. I agree completely.. excpet I guess its just something you get used to within the BDSM community? I am sub, He is Dom, she is Switch.. certainly means you dont end up in bed with the wrong person :)

      But you're right, happiness and fulfilment are the vital things

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  7. Lables are a killer. I'm not very experienced with a wide variety of Dominant or sub folk but it would seem that in essence control and power exchange is key to the turn on. How that is expressed..who cares? When my non-Dom exerts his control I am as turned on and complete as when Local D takes charge...as long as everybody has a great time ;)

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  8. My man is definitely the dominant one and I like it that way. We only recently started discussing our roles as dom and sub after I read "50 Shades." He pays very close attention to my reaction to his moves, with his goal to bring me all levels of pleasure and orgasms. One of his methods to increase my sex drive is teasing foreplay without penetration. Sometimes the teasing goes on for several days before I get cock. I never know when he's going to let me have it. It's a super "O" when it finally happens though! Fun times!

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