Addict

I have been spending a lot of time with Good Kisser lately; our schedules have led to the opportunity for some long afternoons in bed, and we have taken advantage of that time with no small degree of enthusiasm. He continues to be Good At Kissing, of course, but the sex... which honestly surprised me at first with how satisfying it was, is starting to develop into something that just turns me, during the time we are together, into a hot mess of lust. And when we are not together in bed, I just bask in the benefits that one can get out of simply having lots of orgasms, (never mind the pleasure of having someone in your life that thinks you are just the thing, sexually, and tells you so often). Better skin, better mood - no better sleep yet, but you can't have everything- and  better energy levels. At the moment, I am the cat walking with her tail high in the air.

However, I do feel like being with him has taken some getting used to. I did meet him on a vanilla site, and he never had this claim to being a Dominant but why should he label himself, after all. Why should any of us?  He is dominant in bed - I don't have a sense of being in control at all, physically or otherwise, but I think it is different, to the partners I have had in the past. What is different for me is that he gets his pleasure from my pleasure; So while he clearly enjoys spanking me, I am spanked because I love to be spanked, he pins me down because it turns me on to have my limbs restrained, and whereas in the past I might have spent time giving my partner loving and enthusiastic oral sex, it seems like my task is to lay there with my hips pinned to the bed until his tongue on my pussy, oversensitised already from two or three orgasms in quick succession, elicits yet another climax. Which I'm sure you would agree, is hardly a terrible predicament to be in.

I think finally, the difference is in the freedom. If I want an orgasm, I will have one without asking- usually. If I want to change position in order to better enjoy what we are doing, I mostly can.If something is too much, I don't feel the need to get through it because we have this dynamic that means I should push myself for his pleasure, we just stop it. It occurs to me that some readers might consider the preceding statements to be a bit... strange. In most dynamics what I have described here is probably the norm. But I suppose when you  practise (I'm not sure this is the word I am looking for) BDSM, other things become normal. This is neither good nor bad necessarily, just different. Anyway, the point is  I think we both know that ultimately, he is in charge of what happens in  bed - which is necessary, but right now seems like my job is lying back and having a great time. So I'm trying to become really proficient at that for his benefit. Tough life. All of this for a woman who, a few short months ago couldn't really remember what sexual pleasure felt like. My biggest problem now? Getting out of his bed.