Well this is awkward!

Lunch with Mr A did not go entirely to plan. Things started ok - despite the fact that I would estimate he was about 10 years older and about 20 pounds heavier than his profile pic and maybe an inch or two shorter (so many of them do that, eh? I do understand why, but still.. ) I thought he had some potential. I cannot deny it, I have a soft spot for the older man.
Then, despite us having already made plans and being surrounded by perfectly lovely bars, cafes and restaurants he said he had another plan, that we would get into his car and go for a drive into the country to this pub he liked. Maybe he got the idea from the phone thing yesterday, that I was just going to go along with whatever he said today but at least he had the grace not to look too deflated when I demurred. So we had a coffee and you know how it is when you first meet someone you might play with (or maybe you don't. I kinda envy that.) and you try and keep it light and vanilla. Talk about the weather, talk about the shops, talk about the news? Well, he didn't know about that and the conversation kept turning round to sex. As a last resort, I started to talk to him about politics as my political views are very oppositional to his. He is conservative and you know, in real life, I choose not to spend the greatest amount of time with followers of the nasty party.. but I kind of think I like the idea of being spanked by someone with those ideas. Anyway, I don't think he took the whole opinion thing very well :)
We decided to go for a bit of a walk then, although, he tried to persuade me to get in his car again (rolls eyes) and it started to get a bit weird. We were just walking up this hill and he went a bit quiet, I said that I was thirsty and I would like another drink and we went to this cafe. And then as soon as we sat down, he wanted to go (not ideal when you're thirsty and need a wee, but OK) ... so we start to go back down the hill and he tells me that he is having a panic attack. Christ. And then he starts telling me about his history of panic attacks. At this point, I gently suggest he goes home. And he offers me a lift. Which I decline. And then (and here, reader, you find out how shallow I really am) I look at him, as if for the first time and I notice he is wearing ill fitting, slightly shiny, navy polyester trousers. And I know for certain, that had everything else gone well and been perfect, I can never have sex with this man.

Could you have a D/s relationship with a Dominant that has panic attacks (if that is even true. I can't help but think he thought he'd try and have a quick fumble in his car with me and when that didn't materialise he just thought he'd sack me off. Doesn't matter I guess. But if he does have a history of panic attacks, doesn't he have a responsibility to disclose that to me before it happens?)? Let's say it is true. Lets say you're tied up on his bed and you're halfway through a play session, deep in blissful subspace? Are you going to feel relaxed and safe knowing he potentially could have an attack at any time? Not me. Does that make me bad? No.

Still. Maybe he could be my 'phone Dom.