Shhh...

A hot, quiet week. I am supposed to be studying.

I am not supposed to be spending hours lying mostly naked on the bed, or the sofa, or the sunlounger
I am not supposed to be daydreaming
I am not supposed to be checking my phone to see if W, whom I have told I busy, has texted me (he has)
I am not supposed to be browsing kink sites
I am not supposed to have a long nap in the middle of the day
I am not supposed to be drinking wine every night
I am not supposed to be sitting at the kitchen table, with my books in front of me, but with my hand between my legs while I consider what W might do to me next time I see him

I feel like I am sleep walking. I'm sure it's the heat.
I'm kind of convinced that if I could just get properly laid, or even a nice hard hand spanking with a bit of play, it would straighten my head out. But, knowing I would be busy right now, I let a couple of potentials taper off. There is W. But he has prepared himself for my busyness this week, by becoming busy himself (I wonder if he is fucking anyone. He could be. That wouldn't be terrible).
I need to study. Time to try working in the library. Can't take my clothes off there.

Profile of the week..

Yep, it's that time again where I anonymously, and in the most passive-aggressive fashion, needlessly mock a kink dating site profile. I was spoilt for choice this week. I chose this one, not just because the basic syntax upsets me so much - and it really does, I mean what is canning? In my vanilla world it means the boiling of bottled and jarred fresh sauces and fruit or vegetables for the purpose of preservation - Ohh, Caning, you think? Well look, caning requires a degree of skill and experience. If you can't spell it, I reckon you can't do it.

 "Ask and I might tell Consensual Non consensual Group sex Stretching Blackmail Dogging Gloryhole Anal Orgasm denial Canning A few interests are listed above".

But no, not just the spelling and punctuation. I think what I find most troubling (and this is almost a critical case, for profiles of this nature) is that the kink is so disembodied from the person, or person(s) he supposedly intends to meet and from his own personality. It's just spewing out his most recent redtube searches. W reckons men are just not very good at kink dating sites, and he probably has a point, but most men who are trying to at the very least get a dirty conversation going would try harder than one long unpunctuated sentence full of slightly grubby interests?
Dominant, no submissive solely exists for you to project your kinky fantasies upon.

Hotter than July

My third 'date' with W last night. He calls them dates, which makes me laugh to myself, but I guess it's more than a meet and beat, There's definitely a connection between us, that makes me think about him on more than a D/s level. I like him. I do worry though, about this. I've tried to vocalise to him the fear I have about feeling too much for him, given my situation, or one of us getting hurt. I'm really worried he will start to view me as 'the girlfriend' and want to make more demands on my time. But right now, I like him. And he makes me hot.

It was going to be The One Where We Had Sex. And I had been excited all week, with the prospect of getting some release on the almost unbearable tension that had been building up in my pants. My body, though, had other ideas and lucky me had a visit from the bad fairy with the red wand. Getting your period just before The First Sex Date is so unfair, isn't it? All that build up, that carefully selected underwear, the texts, the expectation... Anyway, we decided that I would still go round, have a cuddle, watch a film. I told him that I still wanted to please him (this is code for: You can cum in my mouth if you want), but he wouldn't have it. Didn't want our 'first time' to go that way. He's romantic like that.

His flat was like a pressure cooker. It was the hottest day of the year so far yesterday and it appeared that all the heat had stayed in his house, absorbed itself in his living room, with the absolute core of heat focused on the small leather sofa on which we spent most of our night. Still, it's an excuse to get out of your clothes down to your knickers in minutes, isn't it? We didn't have sex. But we did have: Hurling me on the sofa and forcing my legs apart (makes me feel as light as a feather), spanking, cuffs, pinning me down whispering things in my ear with a hand tightly over my mouth, more spanking, a lot of hair pulling, mouth fucking (no cumming) and a lot. A Lot. of very sexy conversations with our limbs wrapped around one another in a fairly sweaty way. I spent a lot of time trying to manoeuvre my body in way that I could rub my butt against his cock. But he was fairly good at not taking that hint. In the background, we watched, The Notorious Betty Paige but I can't tell you what happened. I noticed she took her clothes off though.
I finally got home about 2.30am. There's no way I can sustain staying out that late normally, but for one night it was OK. I'm tired today. But I have some good memories. Mmmh.. handcuffs.

The Carpark

He pushed my back against the wall harder than I expected. W had been quite gentle with me until now so I was taken aback a little by this new aggression. Feeling suddenly vulnerable in the dark carpark, I looked at him and slipped a hand round his waist. I wanted to ask him to kiss me again, to show me the affection that he had been giving me all evening as we had held hands and kissed. But he had other things on his mind for me that evening, and they didn't involve much affection.
Studying my face silently, he pulled my top up and my bra down in one movement with rough hands. Then pinching my breasts, he pulled my hips towards him and started to grind his cock against me.
'Ahh, fuck.' I murmured as he twisted and pinched my nipples '..fuck'
Before I knew it he had wrapped his hand against the length of my hair and pulled it hard, tilting my head right back.
'What have I told you, you little bitch, about that filthy mouth of yours?'
'I'm, I'm sorry', he was pulling harder then, and I had to twist my head to the side, my breasts falling out of my bra, 'I didn't..'
'..You didn't what, you filthy whore? You have got a dirty mouth and you deserve to be punished,
don't you?'
'Yes Daddy', I mumbled breathlessly, and he pulled again 'Yes Daddy, your little bitch deserves to be punished'
A car drove slowly past us into the carpark, slowly enough for the driver to be looking at us, me almost bent double with my tits peeking out of my now almost redundant top and W pulled me up, pushing his upper body against me, protecting me from view as best he could. He kissed me, parting my lips with his tongue and biting slowly down on to my bottom lip. He pushed his thigh in between my legs, and unable to control myself, I began to rub my pussy against it, trying to catch some stimulation against the seam of my jeans. The car gone, he pulled my top up again, exposing my breasts to the night air and continued his assault with his fingers. He bent his mouth to a nipple and scraped it with his teeth, sending a wave of arousal down to my pussy. I began to feel weak, I had come to the point where my body couldn't resist and I would have let him do anything then, and I think he sensed this because he placed his hands on top of my shoulders, ready to push me kneeling to the floor.
We heard a noise, a car door shutting somewhere, and this must have changed his mind. Instead he took hold of my breasts and pulled me forward by my nipples a few feet, to where there was a small rail attached to the wall of the building that we had been leaning against. I put my hands on it and bent over for him and as soon as I had, he brought his hand down on my ass, hard.
I gasped out, more in suprise than pain, my pussy now throbbing in excitement.
He hit me again. I could hear him saying something, but I couldn't make it out, the sensations confusing me.
He hit me again and again, my ass burning now.
'Oh', I cried...'I need to come'
He smacked me one last time and pulled me up, bringing me into his arms for a kiss.

The night ended there, W and I had a kiss and a cuddle and  then he put me in a cab. I was frustrated that we had had to go our seperate ways, that was for sure. I've arranged to see him on Friday night - hopefully we will pick up where we left off.

Well this is awkward!

Lunch with Mr A did not go entirely to plan. Things started ok - despite the fact that I would estimate he was about 10 years older and about 20 pounds heavier than his profile pic and maybe an inch or two shorter (so many of them do that, eh? I do understand why, but still.. ) I thought he had some potential. I cannot deny it, I have a soft spot for the older man.
Then, despite us having already made plans and being surrounded by perfectly lovely bars, cafes and restaurants he said he had another plan, that we would get into his car and go for a drive into the country to this pub he liked. Maybe he got the idea from the phone thing yesterday, that I was just going to go along with whatever he said today but at least he had the grace not to look too deflated when I demurred. So we had a coffee and you know how it is when you first meet someone you might play with (or maybe you don't. I kinda envy that.) and you try and keep it light and vanilla. Talk about the weather, talk about the shops, talk about the news? Well, he didn't know about that and the conversation kept turning round to sex. As a last resort, I started to talk to him about politics as my political views are very oppositional to his. He is conservative and you know, in real life, I choose not to spend the greatest amount of time with followers of the nasty party.. but I kind of think I like the idea of being spanked by someone with those ideas. Anyway, I don't think he took the whole opinion thing very well :)
We decided to go for a bit of a walk then, although, he tried to persuade me to get in his car again (rolls eyes) and it started to get a bit weird. We were just walking up this hill and he went a bit quiet, I said that I was thirsty and I would like another drink and we went to this cafe. And then as soon as we sat down, he wanted to go (not ideal when you're thirsty and need a wee, but OK) ... so we start to go back down the hill and he tells me that he is having a panic attack. Christ. And then he starts telling me about his history of panic attacks. At this point, I gently suggest he goes home. And he offers me a lift. Which I decline. And then (and here, reader, you find out how shallow I really am) I look at him, as if for the first time and I notice he is wearing ill fitting, slightly shiny, navy polyester trousers. And I know for certain, that had everything else gone well and been perfect, I can never have sex with this man.

Could you have a D/s relationship with a Dominant that has panic attacks (if that is even true. I can't help but think he thought he'd try and have a quick fumble in his car with me and when that didn't materialise he just thought he'd sack me off. Doesn't matter I guess. But if he does have a history of panic attacks, doesn't he have a responsibility to disclose that to me before it happens?)? Let's say it is true. Lets say you're tied up on his bed and you're halfway through a play session, deep in blissful subspace? Are you going to feel relaxed and safe knowing he potentially could have an attack at any time? Not me. Does that make me bad? No.

Still. Maybe he could be my 'phone Dom.

Afternoon 'Phone Fun

Mr A called for a chat, which was very exciting. We're meeting for the first time for lunch tomorrow and so I think it was like a final check that we were still both ok, and ready to go ahead. It was so hot in here this afternoon after my walk, that I was half naked lying on the couch anyway. Supposedly working today, but my mind is elsewhere all the time at the moment. Anyway, it was hot. And I was already lying down.
It was a sexy call, general chit chat and slightly more flirty 'getting to know you' stuff. Found myself absentmindedly playing with my nipple over my bra as we chatted. I guess the talk got a little more graphic as we talked over some of the things we liked - I guess we're lucky that our preferences are so similar - and I just got hotter and hotter, and reader, I guess you don't need to be clairvoyant to imagine what happened next. Yes, I lost respect and had me some phone-sex. It was pretty hot though. Worth it. Except he didn't let me cum, as he said wanted to hear it for the first time in person. He says he'll take me home tomorrow and fuck me if I ask him to, but I don't think I will. I might be nasty on the phone, but I'm a good girl in person.

Profile of the week..

When I look through the profiles on the kink dating site I use, I am always pleased to find people in my local area,
but much as I like to be 'good sub' and I don't perceive myself to be a 'ballshiter' I don't know if I would be a good match for this Dominant.

 Wouldn't you be tempted though?Well wouldn't you?

"Hey get in touch 39 dominant male seek good sub get in touch ,you will not be dispointed..

ps:dont like wright lot on here get in touch for any thing u wanna know ...

No ballshiter allowed her Fuck off PK .

Good friends welcome .
 

No one from US need applying OKI ! Don`t even look !"

Edited to add: And who on earth is PK?

Mirror Mirror

Mr A sent me an email,with a dirty request -  such a cliche in a way, but I think the best things become cliched for a reason, don't they? 'Masturbate for me', Mr A said, 'in front of a mirror and imagine me watching you'.

My clit twitched. I wish you could watch me today,  watch my fingers working my puss, watch my face contort and my hips buck. Ultimately I wish you could watch with out me knowing you were there, through my window or via a camera, but that's for fantasy only.
I'm in bed, alone in the house, I notice the mirrored wardrobe facing the bed and my mind goes back to your email. I pull the covers back and draw my legs up until they're at 90 degrees. I prop myself up so I can see into the mirror. I think you'd like this - legs spread and pouting pussy, just for you. A combination of slight chill in the room and my growing excitement causes my nipples to stiffen and I rub and twist them for a moment. I love how deep pink they are against my white skin. But my fingers are impatient and they don't linger for long. I think if you were here, you'd want me to play with them longer, twist them harder. You might try to persuade me to try and bite them, I think.
But I move down, and I gently pull the lips of my pussy open with my left hand, lips already puffy with excitement and slick with juice; I reach down with my right hand and start to very gently tickle the hood of my clit. I know I'm going to cum quickly, so I need to be careful. I think about how you'd be able to see everything and I think about how if I was lucky you might stick a finger into my tight hole and move it slowly in and out as I play with my clit. You know I'd love that. But I don't really have you here so I'll make do. I move my legs wider apart which pushes my hips up a little for you. It's time now, and my fingers circle my clit more firmly now. I can feel myself biting down on my lip and I close my eyes as I wriggle and move my hips. I can feel my climax starting to build so I stop for a heartbeat and pull back. My left hand returns now to a rock hard nipple and I roll it between two fingers as I start to rub my slippery puss again, harder now. If you could see me now, mouth open, hips bucking, you'd love it. But eyes closed, all I can think of is you and how I wish you were here. I imagine you moving between my legs, the tip of your hard cock at the mouth of my pussy. Maybe you'd reach down and put my hand around it, and we'd move it against my clit until I cried out and then you'd push inside of me..maybe.. But this is enough to push me over the edge, my pelvis moving up and down in rhythm with the strokes of my fingers and I hear myself squeak out as I cum, my pussy spasming. I lay my hand against it, and open my eyes to look at my flushed face and skin in the mirror. You love your little girl like this.
I can't wait 'til I can act it out for you.