Profile of the week...

not to sure where to start.Been into the sub side for long time ,now stepping it up a gear.If u are serious in your life to become part and partiall of being owned by a Master,u will be required to pay tribute as an attention getter for my time.....

Ah man, I had a whole snarky post for this one, including an educational piece on the etymology of the phrase 'part and parcel' and the lack of logic involved in suggesting one steps submission up a gear by becoming a Dominant. But it's not worth it. I just come over as anal as.. well, as anal as I am about stuff like that and that's no fun, is it?
The reason that I picked this profile is more representative of a couple of profiles I have seen recently. There is a bit of financial domination that goes on in femdom/male sub BDSM  (not as much as the Dominants would hope, I suspect) but asking women to pay tributes is a bit incredibly optimistic really. The balance of men to women looking for partners is too great and besides - you don't need money in this world when you offer on-demand blow jobs, do you?
(no, you don't)

Profile of the week...

Do not contact me. Do you hear me? In fact, don't even read any further. This is not for you. This is just for friends, that I already have. I don't want any more friends, in fact, I'm just blogging here to make a dramatic statement about how I don't want anyone else to read my blog. And do not comment. Ever.

What? You don't think that makes any sense?! Oh well, I'm just following the example of this guy who has a live profile on the kinky dating site apparently actively seeking submissive females. Sorry girls, looks like he's off kink for good. But on the upside he does wish you a good day.

I am now down with the lifestyle for good I remain on <kinky dating site> only to speak with those friends I have made do not contact me as I am NOT interested any more.

Thank you and have a good day everyone.

 No, no. You have a good day.You know, you could just hide your profile?


As an aside by the way, check out my updated blogroll!

Profile of the week...

Ta da! It's back. For this week anyway.

I don't know about you guys, but there's nothing I find sexier than a dominant with paranoid political apocalypse fantasies. Let me clear out a panic room for you with lots of tinned goods and a torch and we'll make sweet, pleasing love until they come for us... no?

Anyway, I'm from 'good stock', I have skillz outside the bedroom and I'm fairly (ahem) tolerant of the political and religious views of others.. OK,  That bit is is clearly not true. I am clearly a poor candidate for a poly wilderness family. So what do you reckon?

I am looking for an Alpha sub to run my household. I am also looking for young subs of good stock (No apparent disease, mutations, mental illness, and no criminal record) and of both sexes to join my family. I am putting together a wilderness poly family to conceive children and survive the calamity that I believe is very near. You should have a strong body and some skills outside the bedroom.

As for sexual contact; No attempt will be made to prevent legal sexual behavior, however, reproduction will be controlled. The point of this family is to survive civil collapse. Children are a drain on resources and so only mating with the strongest potential outcome will be condoned.

I am not looking for a masochist or a pain slut. I am a gentle Master. I expect you to have friends and a job but all of that will remain secondary to our needs.

I could care less about the Mayan or other similar myths. We face an unavoidable financial and civil crisis in the very near future. I wish to survive it with a group of people that share my Libertarian views.

Now for the obvious, no child abuse will be tolerated, however we don’t subscribe to the liberal notion that children cannot be disciplined. We also will not abide intolerance of any kind. Bi, gay, straight, Agnostic, Christian or Muslim is irrelevant. Members of the family group will choose for themselves what if any title they wish to carry in life, religion or relationships. My role will be arbitrator, peace maker or Buck Stopper as the situation requires. I am not an elitist, Liberal, Christian or Conservative. I am a man seeking a sane and safe place to reside with people that wish to raise children with the same values. If that gives someone the creeps, so be it. No one is forcing anyone to join the group.

I will not judge your kink, I will not judge your kink, I will not judge...

Oh, alright, I will judge your kink...

As an observant reader, you have probably noticed I've not really managed to put up my Profile of the Week for a couple of weeks now. To be completely honest with you, writing those posts was so easy I could have written a blog for months solely made up of these damn fool profiles, but my source, my muse if you will, sometimes makes me feel a bit grubby and I have to go away for a bit and have a good wash.

The site, a free international site which caters for most people who would label themselves "kinky", attracts all sorts of people - People interested in D/s relationships, spankers and spankees, rubber and latex fetishists, sissies, 'animal trainers', sadists, masochists, rape fantasists, age play fantasists, nylon enthusiasts, gay, straight, curious, couples, financial dominants & money slaves, cross dressers and wankers. Lots, and lots of wankers - and I mean that in the most positive and affectionate definition of the word.
And realistically, you can usually avoid all the things that you don't want to look at by using a fairly basic filter system - I don't really care too much to meet submissive men, or younger men or men over the age of 70 thanks. But these filters will never do two basic things - they will never filter out someone who chooses to lie about themselves and their sexual identity, (Alice wrote a very interesting post on this recently) and they will never filter out the things that really squick you; my profile says that cross-dressing is a hard limit, but I can't stop men sending me pics of themselves in poorly fitting ladies lingerie.

I also can't stop receiving messages like this:
(from the highly promising sounding bigcock10ins)
"Mind if I ask, does vanila partner mean  hucow? love it if it is as your local"

Never mind for a minute the problematic spelling and grammar. It took me a few minutes to make the link between my brief profile stating I had a non-BDSM partner, and hucow*. Oh, you don't know what hucow is? Hucow is a term for a woman who accepts sexual objectification by means of large tits and constant lactation. Strictly. Unfortunately, there is a little more to it than that though, there is something of the farmyard about this kink and often hucows will find their stablemates (sorry) with hupigs..No, I don't want to talk about it any longer either, let's go and wash our hands.

Cute piggy

Is your kink, no matter what I think about it, any of my concern?  I'm sure (I know) there are people that consider what seems to me to be fairly harmless kinks to be "sick" and "wrong" and harmful and exploitative and yucky. I hope now they've read their "50 shades" or whatever, or seen their girlfriend or daughter or the nice lady next door reading it, they might have second thoughts [this does not seem to work its magic on a certain breed of feminist, but hey-ho]. But the thing is, the difference is, when I contact a man on a dating site, whether it be kinky or vanilla, I don't deliberately confront him with mental images that might be.. squicky. Maybe this means I dislike it because I consider messages like that to be unmannerly? No. Honestly, I dislike it because it makes me feel a bit grim inside. And I can't decide if I feel like that is right, or wrong. And so I can't decide whether I think that people who judge kinks that I feel to be quite normal are right or wrong either.
There probably is no answer to that question. People are people, after all. Not COWS; PEOPLE!

*ice cream, surely.

Profile of the week...

Ah, I nearly never made it this week. I don't know whats wrong at the moment, but this blog and I are barely on speakers. Still, I guess as long as the interwebz goes on, there will be horrible profiles on free dating sites for me to show you. As inevitable as sunrise.

Anyway, as no-one seems to be clamouring for the profile that I mentioned last week that will just blow you away, I'll save it for when I feel my corner needs a bit of a treat. In the meantime, however, I know you'll thank me for this gem. I know there are some single ladies remaining out there!

Still sick, you say?

_______________________________ 6/9/2011 7:21:13 AM: i think this site is 90%bs 8 %moeny grower 2% real _______________________________ 9/24/2010 11:30:30 PM: i am back now so hope to play soon 

look out for  (redacted) shes a lining bitch a lot      other  fake  on nere to                                                  i think every dam person on here is a  ffff fakeh !!!!!!!!!  look if your out of Ohio and more than 2 states away stat  may me  if your out of the usa  not wast my time i will not send u a ticket   stone will be missed!!!!!!!!
! still  sick!!!!!  but recovering 

 mostly Dom here but i love to be ,Dom my self some times

to all reply  yes i like to be Dom some x but mostly Dom 

 

Profile of the week..

I am not really here. I'm probably in some impossibly glamourous Parisian pavement cafe in the shade of some beautiful historic building with the sun on my face* while you read this. How is your day going by the way?

This profile is probably another one where it would help to post the photograph of the profile owner next to the wording, in order to appreciate why I found this one so wrong. I can't bring myself to take the piss out of the non-anonymous though, so let me just paint you a picture of an aging, stringy scruffy guy with white hair. I'd like to think he really means it about all those 'must haves' but I reckon he would settle for 'pretty fucking average pussy' if you want the truth.

I'm not sure about this 'family female' sub/slave thing either. Isn't that a bit... hillbilly?

You have to have a pretty pussy and responsive nipples and a great mouth with the willingness and desire to serve at your best. And glasses are a plus !! I'm strict demanding and require total obedience at all times ! And mother/daughter/sisters etc.family female subs/slaves always get first priority ! If interested im at {redacted} at yahoo ! 

I do have another profile of the week to share, but I have a feeling it's so good.. that anything after posting it will be a true anti-climax. It is so objectionable, paranoid and unpleasant that I actually thought on first sight it might have been a spoof profile. It's not. It could be (whisper it) profile of the year, but I don't know. I'm worried there will be nothing to top it, evah. So I might post it next week.

*alternatively, I could be tired with achy feet, stuck in a long queue, with a whiny 7 year old, ready to cry at the idea of paying yet another £4 for a bottle of water/coffee/ice cream. Could go either way!

  

Profile of the week..

That's right. The weekly post that writes itself. You know, sometimes I worry that I'm never going to see a profile in the week that I'm going to want to share with y'all. I always seem to though, don't I?
After my (mis)adventures in D/s this week, I have been looking at profiles with at least the intent of messaging a local charming, datable Dominant with his own teeth and no discernable mental health issues that we need to talk about in advance. Nothing doing so far but I wonder if this guy lives in your town... (don't all rush at once, girls)

Totally sick and perverted Master. Seeks stupid, brainless fuck-pig-whore-shit for total abuse. A slave is nothing more than disgusting pile of shit that shouldn't exist. Only limit is death

His only limit is death, right? Be pretty embarrassing if you went round and he wanted to start hacking your fingers off. What's the protocol there, I wonder!?
Sadly, I don't know any stupid, brainless fuck-pig-whore-shits. And don't get me started on someone seeking something that shouldn't exist, he's never going to be happy doing that! Besides, the idea just turns my brain inside out.

Profile of the week..

Bet you thought I'd forgotten, huh?
Well here it is, better late than never.

I love this profile simply because who wouldn't want a dominant as paranoid as this guy? Only a real women, right?
All answers on a postcard to the nearest mental hospital please..

Im here looking for REAL woman who will meet and not just mess around online. If youre not willing to meet or not a real woman then im not interested.

 Im already sick of all the fakes and liars here, if youre all talk and just gonna bullshit us all then why did you bother making a profile?

 Come and talk and if youre worthwhile i will want to meet.

 well it seems some psycho has been running around here making up shit about me and bad mouthing me to anyone she can find.

if you get sent messages about me please have the decency to let me know and i can try and stop this fucked up mental case from causing you all problems.

if she is gonna do all this cos i refused to meet her then think what else she would do if she takes a dislike to you?

2/21/2012 12:25:32 AM: and now we have another psychotic bitch who thinks she can pull as fast one on me. 'normal {redacted}' as if the username wasnt enough suggestion that she thinks we are all freaks on here. she is clearly unhinged and is trying to create hassle for all us serious types. further investigation shows this girl is actually a group of 3 girls online to take the piss and lure unsuspecting men into abuse and harrassment on the few occasions the girls do decide to show themselves, and just not bothering to show up the rest of the time. so be warned out there folk

(emphasis mine)

The Unusual Suspects

So this week, I have mostly been.. meeting men. When I say meeting, by the way, I do not necessarily mean fucking, removing clothing or groping. I am a good girl on a first date, always.
As far as I was concerned, when I placed my ad on the vanilla hookup site (the busiest site in the whole fucking world by the way - I've never known anything like it), it was always going to be a numbers game. I knew that despite the exchange of photographs and extensive email tennis there was no guarantee of chemistry with anyone in the flesh and that the chances of meeting someone(s) new would be increased, the longer the shortlist. This of course is not to say that I wasn't picky; I don't have so much time that I can meet a man I don't feel a basic level of attraction or initial 'click' with, but with the amount of men that did contact me, I only had to see a tiny percentage to give me quite a busy week.  Why I decided to meet 5 men over such a short space of time, I don't really know, but I have a feeling it was mostly to get it out of the way.

It was very interesting. All of the men I met were as they presented themselves by email in terms of looks and personality. They were all clean and well mannered. There was no-one that it was exactly a hardship to sit and drink with exactly. But it's a funny thing, chemistry. You can look at someone and think, 'I can see you're attractive, I can see all the things we have in common, I can see you're clever and funny' but..but the idea of getting naked with them is as about as exciting a prospect as last night's leftovers. And then, even more randomly, you can sit with someone for all of about 5 minutes and start thinking.. 'this is all very well and good, but it would be a lot better naked in your bed.' and its impossible to tell which it's going to be until you get there. I had a bit of both this week, but I do think that when the chemistry was there - it was really there. Only one date though, really seemed to understand (or more vitally, care) what I meant when I wrote in my hook-up site profile that, outside of the bedroom at least, that I expected to be treated like a princess. It made a difference (it makes a difference, men, in the vanilla world!). I know I'm going to be especially nice to that one.

So, I have one left to meet, tomorrow, and I think that will be that for the vanilla site, for the mean time at least. I've changed my profile to reflect that I'm not looking to meet anyone else at the moment - this doesn't stop the men that don't read profiles from sending me pictures of their cocks and asking me if I want to meet them/suck them off/have some fun but luckily I think I've seen so many filthy pictures over the past month or so that I'm starting to go blind. One can only hope, anyway.

Profile of the week..

A quick one tonight. I'm sure I don't really need to explain how this one ended up on the list. It isn't so much that I have a problem with either statement (although I do a bit, naturally); although the profile clearly suffers the same grammar/punctuation problems that most of them do. It is more that total incongruity of the two statements. And the brilliant gap between them. I guess on the plus side, he does appear to know what he wants.(I must not judge your kink, I must not judge your kink, I must not judge your kink x 100)

-Put this in your profile if you know someone who has survived or died of cancer-

i am looking for sluts and whore's to use as i see fit as hookers to earn master money

Profile of the week..

I can't really believe that Monday has come round again quite so fast. It has not been a great week for me, but that's another post. Normally I reserve this space for profiles that I don't like, because criticism is so much funner, right? But after drowning in bad profiles this week, I did have a little smile when I spotted this one. I mean, I won't be in touch, but it's far more positive than last week's effort, don't you think? Here it is:

:) ... It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

 I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie! :D

REMEMBER: If your not having fun then your doing something wrong!!!

Truth or Dare Anyone!! Fell Free to message me.

Girls, he even uses the semi colon. Want me to hook you up?

 

I say Potato...

So, I slacked off again today and went on a short notice lunch with a new man. Lets call him.. Mr F. Unusually for me, Mr F is a vanilla, which could in itself be problematic. He seems like he could easily dominate me, and be quite forceful, but he 'draws the line at causing pain' apparently. I don't think that matters too much for occasional play, really, but there are sometimes when I need something a bit edgier to get me over the .. edge and I don't need people who are scared of hurting when they're with me. This is all completely premature, as I don't know if he wants to do anything yet. I think he does. He looked at me like he did (you know what I mean), but I'm not sure the spark, sparked.

It all started pretty well. He had been fairly modest about himself in his profile on the site I had met him, and he was attractive and very imposing at well over 6 ft tall. I immediately felt good in his company. I liked him. The chat flowed, pleasantly at first, with some fairly lighthearted banter and a lot of smiling. Reader, it was going well. But the dynamic really changed when the subject drifted onto politics, and now I look back it seems like the conversation overtook the majority of our date. Essentially, Mr F seems to like an argument and, noting my fairly obvious aversion to Conservative politics he went on to defend the political decisions of the scum that govern this country and become an apologist for the utter rape of the working classes by the Thatcher government. All Labour's fault, apparently. Now, just in case you think he's stupid (thats a possible, for people who genuinely believe these things), it turns out that he doesnt think all of these things. He just wanted an argument. And he got one from me, whether he listened or not. But I think the final straw was 'But David is such a laugh at a dinner party, he's a nice chap.' Now, whether he understands his social relationship with one of the most politically offensive and yet ineffectual Prime Ministers that this country has seen in many years, is of no consequence to me or not; I care little that a man whose policies are driving thousands of working families underneath the poverty line and making the disabled and the poor pay for the mistakes of his banking buddies is a 'laugh' at a dinner party. Its nice to imagine him quaffing down the champers and caviar and having a chuckle after a 'hard day' making policies that hurt society, isn't it?

But politics aside (And really, it doesn't matter all that much that he chooses to socialise with people like that), who ever thought that provoking someone's deeply held moral convictions, for fun, on a first date was sexy? Is it? Frankly, some of the stuff he said made me a bit queasy, with his reactionary Daily Mail opinions on the unemployed and the sick. Not sexy, not fun, not light. Not verbal foreplay.
And that's  a shame, because really, I like him. Its a shame that someone articulate and funny and bright doesn't want to spend their talents seducing a woman, rather than winding her up. Oh well.

Profile of the week..

Yep, it's that time again where I anonymously, and in the most passive-aggressive fashion, needlessly mock a kink dating site profile. I was spoilt for choice this week. I chose this one, not just because the basic syntax upsets me so much - and it really does, I mean what is canning? In my vanilla world it means the boiling of bottled and jarred fresh sauces and fruit or vegetables for the purpose of preservation - Ohh, Caning, you think? Well look, caning requires a degree of skill and experience. If you can't spell it, I reckon you can't do it.

 "Ask and I might tell Consensual Non consensual Group sex Stretching Blackmail Dogging Gloryhole Anal Orgasm denial Canning A few interests are listed above".

But no, not just the spelling and punctuation. I think what I find most troubling (and this is almost a critical case, for profiles of this nature) is that the kink is so disembodied from the person, or person(s) he supposedly intends to meet and from his own personality. It's just spewing out his most recent redtube searches. W reckons men are just not very good at kink dating sites, and he probably has a point, but most men who are trying to at the very least get a dirty conversation going would try harder than one long unpunctuated sentence full of slightly grubby interests?
Dominant, no submissive solely exists for you to project your kinky fantasies upon.

Profile of the week..

When I look through the profiles on the kink dating site I use, I am always pleased to find people in my local area,
but much as I like to be 'good sub' and I don't perceive myself to be a 'ballshiter' I don't know if I would be a good match for this Dominant.

 Wouldn't you be tempted though?Well wouldn't you?

"Hey get in touch 39 dominant male seek good sub get in touch ,you will not be dispointed..

ps:dont like wright lot on here get in touch for any thing u wanna know ...

No ballshiter allowed her Fuck off PK .

Good friends welcome .
 

No one from US need applying OKI ! Don`t even look !"

Edited to add: And who on earth is PK?